Saturday, July 31, 2010

They Do Not Know How to Flirt

Mistake #7

Charis had a lean athletic body, from years of competing in triathlons. She was around guys and the guys noticed her. They checked her out all the time! Did she notice? No! When she did make eye contact with a guy she would naturally look down and immediately start talking with her friends. She was always surrounded by many fun girlfriends! When a guy would approach her she would answer his questions with short answers, smile and laugh nervously. She had so much attention but not many dates. Why? She didn’t know how to flirt.

For some reason, flirting often has negative connotations in the Christian culture. However, I assure you that Eve flirted with Adam… I mean, how else do we exist?! This is part of being approachable and will often give him that extra boost of courage he needs to ask you on a date. I (Leslie) was a flirting professional, in fact, in college Mary had to have an intervention with me to help me tone down my unintentional flirting! Here are some of my tips for healthy flirting:

1) Be aware. They are checking YOU out! You are a female… The guys are aware of you! Look around the room. You’re sure to find a few guys looking at you! As you practice the guidelines in this book you will definitely notice the cuties paying even more attention to you.

2) Be near him. Let him notice you and notice you repeatedly. Do not approach him, but make sure you are in his line of vision. If you are at coffee shop or restaurant, make an excuse to walk by his table. Proximity is the number one factor in attraction.

3) Make eye contact and smile. Practice this on everyone. It is common courtesy. When you make eye contact with someone do not look away immediately. Hold their eye contact for 2-3 seconds and smile.

4) Look back and smile. After the initial eye contact, look at something else for two seconds and then look back and hold his gaze for another 2-3 seconds while smiling. Be brave moment: After holding his gaze for the second time, end it with a wink.

5) LISTEN to them. Ask more questions than you answer. People love for others to find them interesting and guys love an intriguing girl! At the end of your conversation he should know very little about you and you should know plenty about him. Look at Appendix B for question ideas.

6) Use light, appropriate touch. When he has said something funny, laugh lightly and briefly touch his arm or shoulder. Touch is very powerful. Use it to be fun and flirty. Never touch his legs… Touching his legs can be too powerful.

7) Use his name 2 or 3 times within the conversation. People love to hear their own name. It makes them feel as if they mean something to you because you remember their name. Use his name in a playful and flirty way. When he makes a joke, giggle and say, “Oh, Trey, you are so funny.” Or when you ask a question say, “Brad, where did you grow up?”

Other flirting techniques are found throughout this book. Study the guidelines. Apply the guidelines. Put the book down right now and schedule a time with some friends to help each other practice these flirting techniques. Flirting is really about being open, friendly, and playful. Have fun!!!

So...  Do you relate to this?!?  Is this a mistake you make?  Please, let us know!  Apply these guidelines this week and let us know what happens!  Please!!!  Let us know!

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