They Do Not Carry Themselves with Confidence

Mistake 8

Daneasha was an intellectual, friendly pre-med student with a contagious laugh. She had a round figure and everyone who knew her loved her. Yet, when she walked around campus she often looked down or to the side. We had a talk with her and coached her in walking with confidence. She argued with us saying that she was a confident girl and didn’t need our coaching. After a few days she reconsidered and started applying our tips and techniques. Within the first day, she started realizing that guys were checking her out, they were making eye contact with her and they even started opening doors for her every time she went in a building! The way she carried herself changed the way guys treated her!

Many of you believe you are confident women, and maybe you are. You are confident in Christ. Your identity is in Him! But as you walk you don’t portray confidence. Here is how you change this:

· Walk upright. While you are walking notice how you carry yourself or ask a friend to observe you. Do you walk with your head up, shoulders back and your back straight? If not, start now.

· Notice what is going on around you. I was coaching a friend on her college campus. As we walked I said, “Wow, Meg, that guy on the bike was totally checking you out!” She responded, “What guy?” I could not believe it! A very attractive guy had to get off of the sidewalk on his bike to give us space. As he did he almost flipped off of his bike because he was totally checking her out. Yet, adorable Megan did not even notice. The lesson: Be in the moment! Notice the people you are passing.

· Make friendly eye contact. Again, eye contact shows that you are a confident, approachable person.

· Smile at people. After you get great at making eye contact, start smiling at people along the way. Practice in front of the mirror and then on your friends.

· Walk with a purpose – this portrays great confidence. Even if you have no place to be, walk like you know where you are going and you have important people waiting for you there. But while you walk remember to make friendly eye contact.

Many of you are reading this thinking, “I don’t feel confident.”

· First, your confidence needs to be found in Christ. Get a friend to do a Bible study with you about who you are in Christ. It will be fun and worthwhile for both of you. (See Appendix C for help with this.)

· Here’s a general principle: If you want to change the way you feel about things, change your actions first. Start walking with confidence and follow the other guidelines above and you’ll start to feel confident. Change the way you feel by acting on it first.

Remember: You are an amazing woman! Walk like one!