tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601924232390404651.post7487480971451133502..comments2011-02-10T10:44:17.180-08:00Comments on <center>Get More Dates... Have More Fun!!!</center>: Mistake 1: They Are Not ApproachableMary and Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08601121254605813856noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601924232390404651.post-73702051904623087412010-06-08T18:43:46.896-07:002010-06-08T18:43:46.896-07:00I think it's wonderful advice to make eye cont...I think it's wonderful advice to make eye contact with strangers...just be prepared for some interesting, people to come up and talk and share their life's story with you! I've heard more about strangers I'll never meet again in 5 minutes than you'd hope to hear from a friend in a lifetime! It simply happens when you're being friendly--if you're not a fan of being approached by odd people, then you just need to be prepared for the consequences of your actions!!!<br /><br />I know it's only chapter one, and I wish you gals the best, but I'm also very, very wary about another "rules on dating" book. In my personal experience with books of this genre/breed, they are amazing sellers for a period of time, but they try to teach girls how go after what they want rather than waiting for God to make his move and put the girl in the right place at the right time. <br /><br />I found that many times these books kept me focused on what I was doing right/wrong rather than just enjoying the opportunities that God put in my path to be friends--I was so busy trying to interpret whether or not I was making sure I looked "open", rather than relaxing and simply building relationships! I think it would be rude to only give partial attention to a friend while scoping out the room--you'd really recommend someone do that? How would you feel if someone did that to you?<br /><br />I'll admit, I was confident, I was busy, and I was probably unapproachable--but I assure you that's not a time in my life that I would give up ever!! And I complained with the best of them about how lonely and depressed I was for not having a man! I loved the time that I spent focused solely on my girlfriends--even if I thought I was missing something. Those are now the times that I look back and seriously miss!<br /><br />I'm looking forward to hearing how dating can actually be fun, because overall, I found dating to be more painful than fun--in part because of a lot of these guidelines I tried to follow to a tee after reading similar books back in the day.<br /><br />I was working so hard to get the attention of guys and be perfectly approachable in my relationships--when it would have been so much easier just to be my oblivious self! Maybe I was built for one partner in crime, I don't know, but I've always been one geared to look for a long term, committed partner, and had no room in my life for dating frivolously. And I truly believe that pain is actually an important part of the process...it grows you into the woman you're supposed to be for the man God has chosen for you. And let's you know how great you have it when it's finally in front of you!!!<br /><br />I guess as my last thought for the girls that read your book--go with your gut. I never became 100% comfortable with any guy that I dated until I found my husband. If you're second guessing everything and finding more negatives than positives about a guy, there's probably a reason. Keep moving and don't settle. No guy is better than the wrong guy.<br /><br />Relax! Enjoy life and let it happen in its own time. I would definitely practice some of these guidelines that Mary and Leslie are putting out there, because they can be really empowering if you've never done some of them, just remember that you don't have to will yourself into a relationship. And please don't put life on hold simply because you're not in a relationship! Love yourself first. Find who you are first, and I assure you, some guy is gonna fall in love with who you are without you working nearly as hard at it. It's amazing when it does happen and it all falls into place naturally--even when you're not being approachable! Think about all the romantical movies where the herionne (sp?) completely blows off her prince charming! Guys love a challenge, right!?Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07909103756980201716noreply@blogger.com